Bill Brasky is a son of a bitch!
"Bill Brasky once showed me a video of him making love to my wife, and it was the most beautiful thing I ever saw!"
"He once breast-fed a flamingo back to health."
"He hated Mexicans! And he was half Mexican! …….And he hated irony!"
"I once saw him scissor kick Angela Landsbury."
"He sheds his skin once a year."
"He taught me how to make love to a woman, and how to scold a child."
"He killed Wolfman Jack with a trident."
"He has dandruff the size of mice!"
"Brasky once hosted the Grammys and gave every award to Corey Hart."
"Brasky’s family crest is a picture of a baracudda eating Neil Armstrong."
"He breastfeeds John Madden."
"If you drop a phonograph needle on Brasky’s nipple, it plays the Beach Boys’ ‘Pet Sounds.’"
"Brasky’s semen can form into a liquid human - like the guy from ‘Terminator 2’"
"He gave a handjob to a manta ray."